"I don't know how to put this, Bella, but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm going to throw this out there and if you don't like it, throw it right back... I want to eat you."
"Common sense tells me I should Van Helsing your glorious, sparkly hiney... and yet I'll admit I'm flattered. You're a straight shooter and I can't fault you for that. Wanna be my boyfriend?"
"I watch you while you sleep."
"You're so cute when you're creepy."
"No seriously, Bella I'm probably going to kill you. I almost killed you just now. You don't even know."
"You're not the boss of me! I love you! Make me a vampire."
"And spend eternal damnation listening to your incessant whining? Not bloody likely."
"Come on! Please, please, Edward, please? Pretty please, please Edward, PLEASE!"
YOMP! Ahhhhh! sllluuuurrpppp...
The End
12 comments:
so funny, I loved it! This should be how the book was written!
Not bad, but I'd like to hear more about the glorious, sparkly hiney.
eeeewwwww! UGH! YUCK! Wanna know what I really think? ;) haa haa
LOL! LOL!
Hilarioius, Di!
ROFL!!!! Stephanie Meyers is going to be so pissed when she finds out her original draft got posted on the internet!
Di, Di, Di.
Try as you might to distance yourself from the fact that you abandonded every principle you hold dear, to go "Molly" and read 'Twi-wipe', the fact still remains:
You read it.
But I still love ya ;)
BTW, BRILLIANT post!!! I literally laughed out loud.
Yes, I read them. I made it through two and a half books and Bella still hadn't DIED! I felt like I was being led on.
I did like the movie though (what the-!). The soundtrack was good, I was diggin' Bella's wardrobe. Plus the special effects were FANTASTIC! >:)
Very funny, my little critic. You should be the one who's a rich author! Ask Chris Feehan how to get started.
hey, I only read two books too...emily's read them all...and i hear the books get better. i was too impatient.
I love your stories. thank you
I still contend she'd be dead within the first month... and at risk for one week of every month.
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