Ten Reasons Why I'd Rather: Part One

A wise man once said, "To pick up clothes and wash them, dry them, fold them, and put them away is the lamest, most time-consuming chore known to man." And you know what? He was absolutely correct. You know what else? It wasn't a man who said it, it was a woman. And that woman was me. I have no beef with the dishes. No problem vacuuming, or washing the windows. But laundry is the never ending gentle cycle from hell. My Friends, I give you Ten Reasons Why I'd Rather Eat Canned Spinach Than Do My Laundry...

1. While canned spinach smells horrible, Andy's stinky socks smell far less appetizing.
2. Disgusting as it may be, spinach is packed with vitamins. Who knows what's packed in my children's pockets.
3. Eating an entire can of spinach couldn't take longer than forty-five minutes. Completing a single load of laundry could take me forty-five years.
4. I would rather have Popeye on my side than that creepy snugly bear. Popeye has more integrity and would probably make a better friend. I guarantee you that snugly bear has a shady past and is not to be trusted. Plus Popeye could kick the crap out of snugly bear.
5. Puke stains.
6. Yes I've heard of Spray and Wash. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.
7. Spinach doesn't shrink to baby-doll size when you accidentally dry it.
8. If I save half the can of spinach for later, it doesn't grow into an unconquerable pile of spinach so enormous and deep I fear for my children lest they fall into its murky depths.
9. My mom has yet to become so concerned about my ability to eat canned spinach than she gives me a step-step-book about how to go about it.
10. There are limitless cans of spinach in the world but I have nothing left to wear.