Happy Birthday to Me.

Today I am 28 years old. Strange, I don't feel any different. Well that's not entirely true. I do feel a bit more mature. A bit wiser maybe. A bit more contented with who I am even though the dream of playing keyboard in a punk-rock band becomes less likely each year. Even though being mistaken for a teenager (a troubled teenager with three children) becomes less flattering each year. Unless you take into account that my back hurts most of the time and that confused/angry/I can't see very well wrinkle in between my eyes is starting to stick. All things considered, I don't feel much different. In honor of this day I give you:

"28 Ways I Still Feel the Same."

1. I still have weird action/adventure dreams almost every night. Two nights ago it involved a young Val Kilmer who was highly insulted when I couldn't remember his name.
2. I still have a hard time finding long sleeves that come all the way to my wrist because of my genetically mutated monkey arms.
3. I still plan to write a book. About what I know not. But I still plan to write one.
4. I still envision myself with long flowing hair when the reality is I cannot grow this straw past my shoulders. I've been trying to for as long as I can remember.
5. I still prefer reading a good book to almost any other activity.
6. I still drink milk with almost every meal.
7. I still don't know what the crap the lyrics from "Glycerine" even mean. But they make me sad.
8. I still dislike raw onions.
9. I am still terrified of spiders.
10. I still crack jokes that nobody gets on the off chance that SOMEONE will laugh and then maybe that person will want to be my friend. That doesn't usually happen.
11. But I still laugh at my own jokes though.
12. I still believe that real ice cream is good for you.
13. I still feel the need to apologize after every social interaction.
14. I still swear when I stub my toe.
15. I still swear when someone cuts me off in traffic.
16. I still swear because sometimes its kind of funny.
17. I still pretend like I don't like swearing.
18. I still hate doing the laundry.
19. I still love swinging on the swing set.
20. I still prefer jeans and a tee-shirt to any other ensemble.
21. I still look like a retarded hippo when I run.
22. I still get really excited about Tim Burton movies.
23. I still put my feet up on the dashboard if I'm riding shotgun.
24. I still run into walls a lot.
25. I still can't hold still when I hear "Billy Jean".
26. I still like my salsa cut with sour cream.
27. I still can't watch the nurse when I get blood drawn.
28. I still get overly excited about my birthday!

WOO- HOO!