Saturday, July 4, 2009

I Am Venom


I'm not going to lie to you, this week kind of sucked. And I can't put my finger on why exactly. Cambria's been sleeping though the night, and the lawn is looking better than ever so I don't know. I'm just not feeling it lately. Some weeks are like that. No matter how well things are going you're just off your game. Outwardly nothing's changed, but inside you'd rather be vacationing on some remote island, being served peach milkshakes by a burly native. You'd rather be somewhere else, even though you love your life, love your fabulous husband and children, love your home. Some weeks it just feels like you're just going through the motions. And you scold when you would normally laugh. And yell at the kids to stop yelling. And feed your family canned spaghetti three times in one week. And find excuses to be alone. And snack at eleven-o-clock at night even though you know its all going into your thighs. AND then feel incredibly guilty for everything you're doing wrong. Guilty for everything you haven't done right. Guilty for feeling down after all that God has blessed you with. Guilty for feeling guilty. Some weeks are a downward spiral that appear to have no bottom. Some weeks you make more mistakes than others.


Thank goodness for Sunday.


7 comments:

Angie said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling down in the dumps lately, Di. I've been having weeks like that recently myself. Keep your chin up and think of Celine Dion's "That's the Way It Is" music video and chances are you will feel better. And thank goodness for Sundays INDEED.

Annalisa said...

try listening to some Coldplay, it always cheers me up.

Chrystal said...

We're on the same wave length...But I totally agree - this Sunday was especially good for me...I finally felt I was 'there' for the fast and testimony meeting, and my class drew the most adorable pics to send to missionaries in serving from our ward that I get to send out. Thank Goodness for Sundays for sure! Hope you have a better week this week - let's get together!

Mommalynne said...

Chin up, Di, maybe some rain will fall and go into your nose and make you sneeze your troubles away!! ??

See you pretty soon!! THAT should cheer you up!!

Shanana said...

Oh good. No more of this chirpy, happy Diana that has been posessing your normally dark, brooding self.

Seriously. Sorry you've had a crappy week. BTW, spaghetti out of a jar makes it feel classier. Maybe the jar will bring on a hair less guilt than the canned stuff.
:0)

Wayneman said...

Di, maybe our DNA trancends physical properties, cos I've had a crappy week for no good reason, also.

But Sundays are definitely the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel :)

Sara said...

ya know... i think that was jut how the week was going to a lot of people, it certainly was for me. I found myself finally crying it out in the shower... it's hard sometimes to get happy... even though there's nothing to make you unhappy! No worries, your not the only one out there!