"Total Eclipse of the Heart" Literal Video.

How to Age Ungracefully.

I officially have my first wrinkle. One loan wrinkle directly between my eyebrows and its no wonder. What with being half-blind, genetically worry-prone, and incredibly angry a healthy portion of my life, it was bound to happen sooner or later or sooner. But it has gotten me to thinking, I mean seriously thinking about how I'm no spring chicken anymore. How the clothes I wear and the way I don't do my hair say "Heck yes I'm eighteen", while this friggin' wrinkle begs to differ. What was once a Cute Rebellion Against Accepted Fashion is quickly disintegrating into the less charming Crazy Homeless Lady look.

I picked Brooklyn up from school the other day wearing a hoodie over a pair of overalls, with a scarf I don't know who left at our house how many years ago, and my prized Sherpa-lined Costco boots. Which probably would have been okay if I was a refugee or her fourteen year old sister, but catching my reflection and my solitary wrinkle in those big glass doors it occurred to me: I'm on the fast track to becoming one of those embarrassing friend-moms desperately clinging to her youth, borrowing her kid's clothes, using outdated teenage slang...

Hella lame.

But what can I do? I LIKE hoodies and overalls and castaway scarves. I LIKE looking a little different than everyone else. But, I would also LIKE looking like a responsible (if not slightly kick-ass), fashionable (if not a little quirky), sane woman in her late twenties. I'm just not sure how to pull it off.

Help me I'm addicted to second-hand stores!

Because I don't want Brooklyn pretending she doesn't know me at the tender age of six, I require your recommendations. Where can I find cute, reasonably priced jeans? Where can I find sweet, multifunctional shirts and sweaters? Where can I pick up a new scarf? This wrinkle says its time to woman-up people. If not for me, for the kids.

Get Naked and Start the Resolution!

I know what you're thinking, "But Diana, how could you possibly improve? You who are so wise in the ways of...um...huh." Yeah, exactly. The possibilities in which I might improve are so vast I have had a bit of a challenge narrowing them down. But once I took into consideration the fact that I am me and I will not cease being me simply because the year changed, things became a lot easier.

Resolutions 2010: The Depressing Reality Version

One- Rather than staying up past midnight and sleeping in as late as I can, I resolve to stay up until midnight and be up by eight.

Two- Rather than eat pretty much whatever the heck I want, I resolve to eat a little less of pretty much whatever the heck I want.

Three- Rather than using my arch-nemesis The Treadmill one solid month out of the year, I resolve to use my arch-nemesis The Treadmill two solid months out of the year.

Four- Rather than swearing only while in traffic or when quoting a movie or when trying to be funny, I resolve to swear only when quoting a movie... Or when trying to be funny.

Five- Rather than waiting until I have a perfect body to buy those fabulous jeans, I resolve to buy those fabulous jeans as soon as I can save enough of my piano-teacher earnings.

Six- Rather than writing that totally amazing novel someday, I resolve to write that somewhat less amazing novella right now.

Seven- Rather than reading my scriptures regularly half the year and neglecting them the rest, I resolve to read them regularly all year.

Eight- Rather than keeping my house spotless half the year and neglecting it the rest, I resolve to keep my house sanitary but messy all year.

Nine- Rather than focus my efforts on having well-behaved children, I resolve to refocus my efforts on having well-adjusted children.

Ten- Try Sushi.

Happy New Year 2010!