Ten Reasons Why I Will Never Be An Olympic Champion

Yes, I enjoyed watching the Olympics. I won't claim to be hardcore about them, because I'm not really hardcore about anything athletic. Probably because I'm not very athletic myself. And by "not very athletic" I mean "The frequency in which I run into stationary objects is alarming." Obviously I am impressed when Chinese girls half my size flip, and fling, and fly from stuff. And don't even get me started on the fish-people. Its incredible to watch those crazy athletic freaks. And I mean that in a good way. No sour grapes here. So what if I will never be best at anything ever? that's okay! And here are my top ten reasons why:
1. I have better things to do. Take Blogging, for example. I can't even count the number of lives I touch with my inane ponderings. At least eight to ten. And I'm willing to wager half those so-called Olympians don't even know what inane ponderings mean!
2. I choose to live a more balanced life. Because I don't JUST blog you know. I do lots of important stuff. Like sort socks, and make delicious treats using marshmallows, and analyze Harry Potter books, and make up pretend superhero scenarios. Sure I could win gold medals if maybe I focused on one of those things, but life isn't about gold medals. Its about making delicious treats using marshmallows.
3. I'm not selfish.
4. I don't test well. Even if I am extremely knowledgeable or skilled in a certain area, I definitely don't do well under pressure. So, maybe I am an awesome volleyball player- you'll never know I guess. You'll just have to take my word for it. I am by the way.
5. I don't believe competition is healthy. You know those poor Olympian kids have a totally skewed outlook. Imagine peeking at sixteen. Ten years later, they're still trying to play the "Olympic Medal" card. "These coupons have expired?! Do you know who I AM???" Twenty years later they're still wearing their medal to the post office, making small talk about how they'd give anything to go back to '08. "How'da like to bet I could hurdle myself over them mountains?"
6. The outfits look uncomfortable. I get it, you can move more freely when your underwear rides up your backside and absolutely nothing is left to the imagination. Fine. Just don't come crying to me when the entire world knows you stuff.
7. I'm not much of a diplomat. Judging from how many of my fellow Americans I inadvertently offend on a regular basis, I can only imagine the effect I could have on a world-level. There would be war. Oh yes, there would be war.
8. The camera makes me look pale and bloated. All I am saying is, the lighting had better be fantastic or I would be super pissed.
9. Russians are sneaky.
10. I'm not special. Nope, not even a little bit. Guess Momma was wrong. Sorry Momma. Baby aint bringing home no gold.

Our Noisy Years Seem Moments

Its been a fun and busy month and promises to continue being a fun, busy month. And while I do enjoy being busy, I sometimes regret how the time gets away from me. When I went to bed last night I peeked into the girl's room to check on them, found them sleeping soundly and marveled at how big they are getting. Brooklyn is almost five already and at age two, Avery hardly seems a baby anymore. Everyday they play, and eat, and learn, and fight, and talk, and sing, and laugh. The days fly by. And while they are still little I make it a priority to learn as much from them as I can.

*Avery is two, and the all time favorite phrase of every two year old is "Do it myself!" I hear it when I pour her cereal in the morning, during bath time, when getting dressed, climbing into the car, getting out of the car, even getting in and out of her crib, and on many other occasions throughout the course of the day. Sometimes she can do it herself, sometimes she can't. I almost always let her try, and when she succeeds I give her praise, and when she asks for help I gladly give it. Interestingly enough, more than half-way through my twenties I still find myself stubbornly exclaiming "Do it myself!" The only real difference between myself and my little daughter, is that she's willing to ask for help when she needs it, and so often I am not. Even though I know from experience that Heavenly Father will answer my prayers, its so difficult to let go of that toddler pride. Of course Avery can't buckle her own seat belt yet, that's why she needs a parent. Of course I can't be perfect yet and that's why I need the Savior.

*I have yet to figure out a way to make my kids eat their vegetables. They peck through the tolerable ones but really prefer ice cream, to be honest. I mean come on! If I let them eat ice cream all the time they would never give me any grief at mealtimes. Then again if I let them eat ice cream all the time they would be undernourished and obese and would probably not last very long. And so I keep trying to coax those vegetables down them because even though they may not taste as pleasant as ice cream, those vegetables are what's good for them. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I whine obnoxiously when life isn't all ice cream too. Obviously there are times when life is sweet, but its also meant to be bitter too. Sometimes its tasteless, sometimes I don't like the texture but those are the experiences I need to be strong, those bitter times build the character I need to survive.

*Brooklyn is a very smart kid who notices everything. Because she notices everything she's a bit distractable. When I tell her to go to her room, get her shoes and sweater, and put them on, she heads to her room and disappears for thirty minutes. When I find her, she's busy drawing on her floor- no shoes, no sweater. She intended to listen, she went to her room, saw her shiny art set and got distracted. I understand, I'm the same way. I know that I should be constantly focused on important things. I should read my scriptures every day, I should have meaningful prayers often, I should attend the temple, I should spend more time playing with my children, I should continue expanding my knowledge. There are so many important things I should be doing, and I intend to act, but somewhere along the line I get distracted by all the shiny things in life. Not that there is something inherently wrong with shiny things, but when the good things distract us from the better things, we don't reach our goals.

* We have a lot of stickers in our yard. Not the fun happy kind. The hurting kind that sting your feet. I tell my girls to put on their shoes. Sometimes they don't listen and end up stepping on stickers and crying. I don't force them to wear their shoes, and I can't take away the pain of a sticker, but I hope that eventually they will learn from their mistakes and listen to me so that by the time they're off to school they will choose to wear shoes and avoid even more painful foot injuries. Heavenly Father doesn't plan to keep us babies either. He wants us to grow up and learn from our mistakes and listen to him. So he allows us our agency, and he allows us consequences even if they sometimes sting.

*Last one. I am far from a perfect parent. I make a lot of mistakes, but when I have erred I make a point of admitting to my children that I am wrong and that I am sorry. I do this because I want them to understand that none of us are perfect, but that we need to repent and then get up and try again, and again, and again. And watching my children sleep or play I feel how deeply I love them, and how I would forgive them for anything. And if I have such love for my children, how much greater and deeper Heavenly Father's love is for me. Repentance is such a difficult concept for me. It must be that toddler pride. But I know that when we are sorry for our mistakes, and when we ask for forgiveness, and continue trying to be better people, Heavenly Father forgives us. Not only does he forgive us, but he takes our sin away entirely.

I know I have a lot more to learn from my children and that we've only just begun. But I am grateful for them, and grateful to God for sending them to me. They are still so little, and believe me life isn't all ice cream but I adore them. And although I may have passing futile wishes that time would stand still for a moment, that they will stop growing up, I realize that's selfish. I try and keep in mind that I'm raising them to be strong faithful women. I try and be a stronger, and more faithful woman myself. And the days fly by.

Desert Island: Part One

"One of the world's tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island, because people always answer "a deck of cards" or "Anna Karenina" when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want." - Lemony Snicket

Imagine you are weightless, floating in the ocean, surrounded by tiny little sea horses... no wait even better you're in the middle of a sweltering desert island, the white-hot sun on your face. Just you and one loan palm tree. Totally destitute. After weeping bitterly over the loss of everything you had in this world, you suddenly realize this isn't entirely accurate. "I am miraculously still in possession of my five favorite books of all time!" You shout to the palm tree you will eventually name Roy. "Man, being stuck on this desert island doesn't seem half so unfortunate now! I suddenly feel very optimistic about my future." Never mind how your books managed to outlast the apparent catastrophe that landed you in this forgotten nothingness. What five books did you bring?

My Lesson Learned

A little bit-o-wisdom from me to you. "Eye of Sauron" avitar- great for leaving funny comments amongst family.
When leaving a friendly note like- "Hey cute pictures of your innocent children...BLAH I SEE YOU BLAHHHHH" or "I'm sorry for your loss...YOU CANNOT HIDE BLAH!!!" Not so much.